Pelosi Promises a "New Erection for America"! WEEKEND Dumb Ox News and OTT (6/17-18/06) updated

Breaking News: Democrats Promise To Walk ERECT!

Nancy Pelosi, speaking for Congressional Democrats, has finally unveiled their long-awaited (since the 2004 campaign at least) plan and promised that her party would "stand up to flacid and impotent" Republican policies, that Democrats would no longer drag their knuckles on the ground, nor wipe their mouths with their sleeves.

After months of working with social psychologists, linguistic experts, media executives, pollsters, and smoking a lot of crack, here's their plan:

• Affordable Health Care and experimentation on live human beings satisfying sexual relations quality of life for every man, woman, and pet and child beyond the larval phase in utero in America
• Affordable Energy with rationing electricity, gasoline, and heating fuel and mandatory free VIAGRA public transportation everywhere in America
• Raise Minimum Wages and keep our unions strong guarantee VIAGRA and income work for every migrating laborer American
• Make College Affordable and eliminate religion and all hate speech or thoughts about so-called "right" and "wrong",distribute condoms and VIAGRA make Americans competitive smart
• Make Retirement Dignified by offering VIAGRA, medical marijuana and euthanasia a Social Security program that will be the only investment provide for all Americans
• Tax the Rich and give VIAGRA to the Poor the Middle Class money to everybody who is "Not Rich" in America
• Turn over our government to Kofi Annan, leave Iraq immediately, and give everybody else in the world VIAGRA or whatever else they want

But seriously folks, Republicans have already exposed the Real Democrat Agenda: Higher Taxes, Impeachment, Cut and Run in Iraq, etc., same old re-hashed Lib and Radical Agenda.

Rep. John Murtha spells out the spirit of the Democrat "new erection": "Glad I could help you Zarqawi!"

Improved Photos/Artwork From "iHillary"

See Michelle Malkin's post on Murtha, with links to other hilarious pics...

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2. Dixie Chicks still hoping to become darlings of the left, using all the right code words:

The episode "... was as if Natalie had said 'Death to the President' or something," says violinist and vocalist Maguire.

"It was the bullying and the scare factor," shudders banjo and guitar player Robison. "It was like the McCarthy days, and it was almost like the country was unrecognisable."

"A lot of pandering started going on, and you'd see soldiers and the American flag in every video. It became a sickening display of ultra-patriotism."

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

(begin parody) Natalie added "You know, I had this dream the other night, where Bush was, like, dressed like a Nazi and he had one of those, you know, Hitler moustaches? Like, how scary is that? I was ashamed to be an American after that experience!"

The Chicks chimed in unison: "Not only don't we, like, understand patriotism, we hardly understand, like, anything!"

3. U.S.A. ties Italy in a great match. Lousy officiating handicapped the Americans for half of the game, who fought valiantly to maintain the tie. U.S. World Cup hopes are still alive...

4. The L.A. Times Editors bemoan all the knee-jerking over Katrina scam artists defrauding FEMA. Not surprisingly, it's FEMA's fault, and all you conservatives with jerky knees had just better get used to an over 16% fraud rate (on $6 Billion) when Bush's hateful anti-earth and anti-black policies come home to roost!

Celine Dion, reporting from a strip club frequented by Bush/Katrina victims, pleaded: "Plee-ee-eeze! Just let them touch ... those .... things! For once in their lives, let them touch those things!"

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